Daddy Where Are You? 3 Things Fatherless Sons Should Know
JUNE 3, 2014 BY BLACK LIFE COACHES
Shaun Marq Anderson rose above his own fatherlessness and gives tips on how to help fatherless sons thrive.
Before I dive deep into this article, I would like for you to know that I do understand the necessity for fathers to be in the lives of their daughters as well as their sons. But because I am not familiar with the issues that fatherless daughters face, it would not be a good idea for me to express my thoughts on the matter. I can only speak from a fatherless son perspective.
This issue of fatherless son households is a very sensitive subject to me. I am one of many young boys who grew up without a father, yet alone a father figure. This plague has been an issue in the black community for far too long. Many of our young brothers fall victim to the streets because of absentee fathers. I am one of the few young men who were able to rise out of the circumstances.
I am here to encourage other fatherless sons about the infinite possibilities of success in which they can achieve. These fatherless sons do not have to struggle with the low self-esteem, anger-management issues, isolation, fear, doubt, insecurities, and other negative emotions that I had to fight through alone. We as leaders have an obligation to pay it forward. We must stand in the gap to ensure today’s youth are mentored, guided, and protected.
Even though I had my struggles as a youth, I was able to rise out of poverty, homelessness, abandonment issues, and relationship struggles in order to be the first person in my family to pursue a Ph.D.! So if I can rise out of the pit of despair and defeat, then so can today’s generation of fatherless youth. Therefore, I have decided to give a list of four things our youth need to know. They need to know that:
First and foremost our youth matter. Dr. Steve Perry’s groundbreaking television series,Save Our Sons, drove the nail into the wood in regards to the necessity for letting our youth know that they matter. Many of the youth on this program lashed out in anger only because they were missing the loving affection of a father. Many of the youth showed improvement, but some of the young men were too far gone into hopelessness to be helped. No one ever said that reaching out to our fatherless sons would be easy. But like Dr. Perry, we have to make an attempt
They do not have to settle for less. Subpar living conditions, gang-infested neighborhoods, and apathetic secondary schools are considered normative routines for many fatherless sons. They grow up with a “settle for less” attitude that gives them no hope for a successful future. The stereotypical story of fatherless sons entails them falling into prison, drug use, or death. But we must do everything in our power to remind our fatherless sons of the kings and queens from which the descend. We must find ways to eradicate this notion of apathy among our youth. There is always time in your busy schedule to be able to spend five minutes of your time reminding our youth that they have been purposed for greatness!
It was not their fault that he left. Quite often, fatherless sons live a life long struggle of holding onto blame. They feel as if they are the reason as to why their father left. With this notion, they fall into deep depression, low self-esteem, and other negative ramifications. It is not right or justified for our youth to hold onto that much guilt. We must work daily to show our youth that it is not their fault. Also, we must stop making our children feel guilty for their father leaving. If the man was a true father, he would not have left his left his child. True, many relationships don’t last forever, but if a child was conceived during the relationship, it is both parents’ responsibility to care for their child.
Hopefully, these pointers have helped you see the necessity in saving our generation of youth who are missing a father figure. Spend time with our youth! Become a mentor! Take them to a movie! Give them a reason for being! You have more power to affect change more than you think! Let’s go! We can do it! Let’s save our youth one step at a time!
Originally appeared on Black Life Coaches Development Network by Author Shaun Marq Anderson
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